I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive I came to win to survive to prosper to rise....TO FLY!!

These are the words to my new favorite song and it has become sort of an anthem around our house!  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3n71KUiWn1I&ob=av2e

As I try to figure out my life out after being diagnosed and fighting breast cancer. Trying to figure out what happens next….I often ask myself where will this journey take me to next. I wrapped up 4 weeks of radiation treatment on November 18^th just in time to for Thanksgiving. My last day was bitter sweet, I have grown to love each of these angels that work at the IHC CC it takes a special person to love and care for people who are fighting for their lives. As I was about to leave that day my favorite nurse and my regular tech pulled me into the consult room and you can imagine how that first made me feel I thought oh no they are going to make me come back or they have bad news....but NOPE they had each made me a gift.....I will never forget their kindness and love

WOW what a difficult 4 weeks I remember calling my mom on several occasions crying telling her I could no longer do this…but look I did it I am done. I find myself very tired still and I am either freezing or roasting there is no in-between with me lately.I will write more about what happens next in this process in a few minutes.

Last week was the worst of the past 2 months. A lot of you may or may not know I am very blessed and lucky to work from home I have a home studio and I have a direct line into the radio stations and it is as if I am right there with the guys and the show that I work on. But last week Monday- Wednesday I had agreed to go into the station and run the board one of the morning guys was on vacation so they needed my skills. That meant I had to be there by 4:45AM to get everything ready. So of course that meant I had to leave my house by 4:00 AM so I was waking up at 3:30 everyday. I would work in the building until about 10AM then head home to try and nap so I could be back on the air at 3PM. I cannot even remember what day it was but Ayden was not feeling well and was having trouble breathing so I rushed home took her to the ER because she couldn’t breathe. We sat there till about 1PM till the DR. said she had bronchitis. ALL in ALL it was a busy and very exhausting week. I remember crying just because I was SO TIRED! Now that I think about it I think I might of been sleepwalking half the time. 

Thursday Thanksgiving day rolls around we had big plans to volunteer at a D.V. Shelter and help serve these amazing woman and their children BUT Audrey woke up around 1:30 in the morning throwing up everywhere we did not go back asleep till about 7AM. Our Thanksgiving was spent, watching movies, napping, cleaning up well stuff and more napping.

Friday I had a remote early in the morning then I came home and made a little feast, we set the table all fancy the girls used wine glasses for their cider and Ayden wrote and read a beautiful speech. About the meaning of Thanksgiving and it was beautiful…
https://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?v=2728865944975&set=vb.1357004929&type=2&theater

I am not going to lie things have been very rough for me but I am so blessed to be surrounded by amazing people. My new friend Cara sent 2 gift cards so I could get pies and special things for Thanksgiving, My friend Ryan dropped of a turkey and left in at my door. I just cannot begin to tell you of all the kindness and love that I have felt over the past 2 months and I am still AMAZED at where it comes from. It is always from places you would never expect.

Christmas is right around the corner and it weighs heavy on my mind and heart on how I will pull off a wonderful Christmas for my girls it’s a tough time for all of us. I always monitor the internet usage in my home with 3 young girls it’s a good Idea for all parents. I found a letter that Alliyah had written to the Ellen Show. I wish I would have saved it you would be amazed at the intelligence and thoughtfulness of this young daughter that I am raising!

She asked for help for her mother who was the best mom anyone could have and asked for things for her sister’s for Christmas. It broke my heart to know that my daughter carries around worries with her; she is just like her mother.

The girls and I went out to Riverton City last night to the night out with Santa and activities. We saw Santa and Mrs. Claus (Mrs. Claus was on xanex I am sure of it!) we made crafts, roasted marshmallow, had hot chocolate and scones oh and went on a hay ride.

On the way home the girls and I had a long talk about Christmas and they all agree that this year would be a special year and we would really celebrate the meaning of Christmas “CHRIST”.
Again, I thank you all for your kindness and love there would be no way that I could have made it this far without each of you!!

I am still having a few issues with my left kidney and still taking way too much medicine but all in all I am feeling OK. I go in weekly for blood work and will have a Body Scan on December 14^th and will have a new diagnosis and I am pretty sure it will be that the ALL the Cancer is gone. I will of course keep you all updated. In the meantime I am working on exciting things, things that will take me on a new journey that will be life changing for the better. I am excited to share as soon as the time is right. In the meantime I will continue to fight, to win, to conquer and fly!

I leave you with this something for you to ponder…

I asked for strength and God gave the difficulties to make me strong. I asked for wisdom and God gave me problems to solve. I asked for prosperity and God gave me brawn and brain to work. I asked for courage and God gave me dangers to overcome. I asked for patience and God placed me in situation where I was forced to wait. I asked for love and God gave me troubled people to help. I asked for favors and God gave my opportunities. I asked for everything so I could enjoy life. Instead, He gave me life so I could enjoy everything. I received nothing I wanted I received everything I needed!

Much Love,

Jackie